It Will Rain
by angelicmethod
Summary: I wasn't going to let anyone break me. I would hold myself together and live a full and happy life, without him. I was going to move on and not look back, just like he wanted me to. So, how come when I finally get my sunlight… the rain comes back?
1. Chapter 1 Picking Up The Pieces

**So, this is a new story. I know, it's not what I have been working on… but I was inspired.**

**This story is rated M for a reason. Please do not read if you cannot handle adult situations and language. I do not want to be reported because someone that shouldn't be reading this does and then gets offended. So please, you are warned!**

**Disclaimer: It's not mine; SM owns all the characters… I own nothing obviously, I just take credit for this little bit of intense fuckery right here. Also, I don't own the song that inspired this story, obviously. Credit for that goes to Bruno Mars.**

I wasn't going to let anyone break me. I would hold myself together and live a full and happy life, without _him_. I was going to move on and not look back, just like _he_ wanted me to. So, how come when I finally get my sunlight… the rain comes back?

*It Will Rain*

Chapter One – Picking Up The Pieces

I stood completely dumbfounded with my hands hanging limply at my sides. I couldn't move, nor did I want to even try. What could I even do? What the hell just happened? I mean… He was gone and I was left alone to fend for myself. I had always known that I wasn't good enough for him, and he'd just told me as much. A pain ripped through my chest, turning slowly into a burning rage that I'd never felt before in my life.

The first raindrop hit my face and I didn't move to wipe it away. The sky was going to cry the tears that I couldn't seem to bring myself to shed. This was always in the back of my mind - He was going to leave me eventually, so I couldn't be surprised. How he'd gone about it though, now I was consumed with rage and hate. He was the one that wasn't good enough for me. I wasn't going to just lie down and let depression take me over; I was going to do exactly what he told me to do. I was going to move on and live my life, with or without the Cullen's.

The sky opened up and I could only stand there and let the rain soak through my clothes, chilling me to the bone. I lifted my face toward the sky and let the rain splash against my skin and then ran my hands through my hair. The sky had darkened and I looked around me, the forest was almost completely dark now and I had no fucking clue where I was.

He had left me in the forest, by myself…

"Hello," I hollered, "Can anyone hear me?"

Of course I knew I was out here alone, and more than likely, no one was around to hear my cries for help.

Just wonderful; what was I supposed to do now? I couldn't stay out here all night, I would catch my death, and as becoming a vampire was obviously no longer in the cards, I didn't feel much like dying at the moment.

"If you can hear me, I hate you," I screamed at no one. I knew he wasn't there anymore, but it made me feel a bit better to say it out loud.

Wow, and to think that just hours ago, I had been completely caught up in, and consumed by, the love I'd felt for him. I couldn't even stand the idea of _him_ right now. I was beyond hurt and upset, but I was more pissed off and angry.

"I hate you, Edward," I screamed at the top of my lungs, "I hate you!"

A twig snapped behind me and I whipped around to look. No one was there of course - I know I'd heard it though.

"Hello, is someone there?" I asked the forest around me.

I was met by total silence. Of course if someone was there, they wouldn't answer me. If it was an animal, they couldn't answer me but I couldn't help but get a bit nervous. What was I supposed to do? How the hell was I supposed to find my way home?

Another twig snapped behind me and I could hear sniffing and growling.

"Whose there," I choked out, "Damn it." I looked around me and found no one there.

"Edward, this is your fault," I screamed out. "How could you leave me out here by myself, unprotected? Just doing what's best to keep me safe," I scoffed loudly, "my ass."

The last bit I sort of whispered under my breath, cursing the day I'd met Edward Cullen.

Yeah, I was a bit pissed off. And the nervousness of being left alone in the dark forest was definitely taking its toll on my mood. It was now almost completely dark out, and I had no clue how to find my way back toward the house. Shit, I didn't even know which way the house was. I turned in a slight semi-circle and looked back through the forest. I couldn't see anything, no break in the trees or a path or anything.

Where the hell was I?

"Hello, someone, please," I cried out as loud as I could, "Help me!"

I closed my eyes tightly and ran my fingers through my hair again. I was beyond frustrated at the moment, and I had no clue what I could do. I couldn't just sit out here and wait for someone to come and find me. This was a big forest, right?

I plopped down unceremoniously onto a fallen tree and looked around me once again. How could he bring me out to a part of the forest that there wasn't even a path to find my way back?

"Man," I sighed heavily as I once again ran my fingers through my rain-soaked hair, "This is just fan-_fucking_-tastic."

Again a twig snapped behind me, followed by deep growls and sniffing. I was in the middle of the damned forest with wild animals that were hungry. Why did I have to get myself into these situations?

No self-preservation was right.

I don't know how long I sat there with the rain coming down, soaking me through. I was used to the rain – to the cold. I'd begun to like it, sort of. But now it reminded me of _him_, and it made me despise it more than I ever had before.

Rain was nothing new for the Pacific Northwest, but seriously, I was freezing my ass off. I could hear bugs chirping and animals scuttling about in the brush. And then I saw them…

"H-hello, please, I'm lost," I choked out.

There was no answer, and they didn't move. But I saw them: Bright eyes in the dark were watching me.

"Please, I need to get home. I'm cold," My teeth were chattering and my entire body was shaking at this point.

The only sound I heard in reply was more growling and sniffing around me. Then the eyes disappeared.

Oh good, I made it all those months in a home full of vampires and this is how I'm going to die? Getting attacked by wild animals and hypothermia, just fucking great.

I sort of wished that Edward was around and he could read my mind. He'd never heard me swear and right now I'd love to give him a piece of my fucking mind. I'd always been good around him – the perfect Stepford wife… no more – I was who I was and I didn't care if he liked it or not.

My love for him had never been a question, but my hate for him now was a totally different story. I couldn't let myself fall into despair, I _wouldn't_. I had to pick myself up and brush myself off, because no one else was going to do it for me, and I had to move on and live my life. Even though I was hurt, and I did love him, there was no question in my mind that he'd just done all of this thinking of no one but himself. Jasper hadn't hurt me, and he wouldn't have come after me if Edward hadn't thrown me into that table full of glass.

I couldn't blame Jasper anyway; he was a vampire. It's in his nature to want blood, and I didn't hold any of this against him. Edward saw it as if I was in danger all the time with his family. I had spent so much time around them, and this is the first time anyone from his family had taken a snap at me. And I was pretty sure that Jasper wasn't the only one that had a hard time being around me while I was bleeding. And him being an empath, he'd felt everyone else's bloodlust on top of his own. Shit, I was pretty sure I'd seen Edward's eyes turn to black when he'd smelled my blood.

Now wasn't the time to hash over this shit though, I had to get out of here. I just had to figure out a way to find help, or… If I could just get out of this damned forest and get home. This was my dilemma; I was stuck out here until someone could find me. I didn't even have a flashlight or a match.

This was just _not_ my day.

I whipped my head to the side as I heard shuffling and then heavy footsteps coming toward me.

This is it… I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. This was the end, and I couldn't help but be a little bit pissed off that Edward hadn't given me a chance to say good bye to Charlie, or to my friends - Renee or Jake. He didn't give me the chance to even say good bye to _his_ family. I clenched my fists tightly and fought back the urge to cry out in anger. He'd taken everything away from me, and all I'd ever done was love him.

The shuffling and footsteps were closer, and I could hear sniffing and growls somewhere behind me.

"Good bye dad and Jacob. I'm sorry I didn't get the chance to be better," I whispered softly into the air around me as the sounds got closer, "I love you both."

Something growled from right behind me and I whipped around to look. Of course I couldn't see anything, but something was there. I could feel it watching me, and I could feel the hairs on the back of my neck stand on end. I reached my hand out and I could feel warmth. Immense heat was radiating toward my hand, and what felt like… fur.

_Shit…_

Another growl sounded and more sniffing, right by my hand. I could feel the exhale of hot breath hit the palm of my hand, and then bright eyes opened right where I was looking. A chill ran down my spine that had nothing to do with my rain-soaked clothes. My breathing picked up and I could feel my heart rate speed up as well as I stared into these eyes. They weren't human, that much I knew, but they were intelligent. I had no clue what this was, but I was scared. My mouth suddenly felt dry, and I could no longer move as my hand remained extended in front of me.

"P-please," I whispered. I could feel the fur touching my fingertips, and then another burst of hot air hit my palm. My eyes clenched closed as I felt whatever it was move closer to me.

"Bells? Bella, are you there?" I heard my dad's voice.

"Dad, I'm so sorry," I whispered, "I love you."

"Bella, please baby, are you out there?" he hollered.

"D-daddy? Dad, I'm here!" I hollered back.

"Bella! Where are you baby?"

"Daddy, I'm here! Please, oh, please," I was sobbing now. "Daddy."

I could see flashlights coming toward me, lots of them. I couldn't help but squint a bit and raise my hand to shield my eyes as a beam was raised right up toward me. They'd found me. Oh, thank God. I'd forgotten all about the animal that had been sniffing at my hand and watched as the lights came closer to me.

"Bella! Oh, thank God. Oh, Bella," My dad came rushing through the trees and picked me up off of the fallen tree and hugged me close to his body.

"H-how did y-you find me?" I asked as I shivered and my teeth chattered.

"Your note you left. When you didn't come back, I got a bunch of people together to search."

"N-note?" I was confused.

"Yeah, baby. You left me a note in the kitchen that said you were going for a walk with Edward in the woods. Bella, you had me scared half to death. Where the hell is Edward anyway?"

Edward, that son of a bitch. He left a note for my dad and then left me out here. I wish I had superhuman strength just so I could smack the shit out of him. Not that it would matter anyway, because he was gone. _They_ were gone.

"Gone," I answered simply as my dad walked through the woods toward the house. People were walking all around us, hollering to each other that I'd been found.

"What do you mean, gone?" My dad asked.

"He and his family left."

My dad mumbled something along the lines of 'stupid bastard' and 'leaving her in the woods.'

"I'm okay, dad. I'm just cold."

"Yeah, I imagine you are pumpkin. Just hold on for a few more minutes and Billy, Jake and I will get everything squared away, okay?"

I had started to drift off in my dad's arms, so I only caught bits and pieces of what he'd said. I was just happy that he'd found me when he did, because something strange was lurking in those woods. I snuggled my face into my dad's chest and inhaled deeply. I sobbed softly as I clung to my dad's jacket. I was finally crying, but not for Edward. I'd get to see Jake again, and my dad – but most importantly – I was alive.

"Shh, I've got you, baby," My dad soothed.

I continued to sob quietly and grip onto my dad's jacket tightly as he walked us through the forest. I could hear voices around us getting louder. We must be closer to home because I could hear cars, too.

"Charlie, oh thank God, you found her. Is she okay?"

"Yeah, Harry. Get Billy and Jake and have them meet me in the house would you?"

"Sure thing, chief."

I couldn't bear to pull away from my dad yet. I didn't want to have to tell him exactly what had happened, and I knew he wasn't going to let me off without telling him at least something that was believable. I was a terrible liar - I couldn't lie to my dad, especially about something like this. Besides, I'm not sure I wanted to cover up for Edward anyway.

Voices were all around us, and my dad held me tight against him. My face was tucked in against his jacket, and I couldn't help the tears that were running down my cheeks. I was happy, and angry and hurt.

_Jasper would have a field day with my emotions right now…_

Of course I had to get my mind away from him – from all of them… because they were gone.

"Thank you everyone. She's okay, thank you. Yes, go on home, thank you for all your help," My dad continued to walk through the people, up the stairs and into the warm living room of our home.

"Bella, baby, I need you to change out of those wet clothes while I start a fire. Can you do that for me?" My dad asked softly against my wet hair.

I could only nod as he set my feet on the floor and helped me stand. I looked up at him and he looked tired, like he'd aged 10 years since I'd seen him this morning.

"I'm sorry you worried, dad," I sobbed out softly.

"Oh baby, I'm just so damn glad you're safe. We can talk when you come back in warm, dry clothes. Now go on."

I nodded again and headed up the stairs to my room. I got to my door and nudged it open with the toe of my sopping sneaker. The moonlight shone brightly in my room, and my eyes were immediately drawn to my dresser. My pictures were gone, and my cd's that had been on the stand next to my bed. -Everything that Edward or his family had given to me was gone.

"Selfish asshole," I mumbled as I pulled my drawers open and pulled out clean sweats and underwear, "How could you do this to me?"

I peeled myself out of my wet clothes and dried myself off as much as I could with the towel that was hanging on the back of my door. I dressed again in my dry clothes and headed back down the stairs to the living room.

Dad was talking with Billy and Jacob in hushed tones. Probably telling them that he was worried about me being upset that the Cullen's were gone. I was upset that the rest of them were gone, but I was too pissed off at Edward right now to really miss him. I cleared my throat softly as I walked toward the couch and all three of them turned around and looked at me.

"Oh, Bells. I was so worried about you. Are you okay?" Jake asked walking up to me. I looked at our dad's for a minute and then wrapped my arms around Jacob as tight as I possibly could.

"I'm so sorry, Jacob. I didn't mean to worry you."

"Shh, it's okay, Bells. I'm here," he soothed as he ran his hands up and down my back.

"I was so scared that I wouldn't get to say good bye to you. I didn't know where I was, so I couldn't find my way back," I sobbed heavily into Jacob's chest. "There's – I have some things to talk to you about."

"Oh honey, it's okay. You're okay - You're safe now," he kissed my temple softly and snuggled his face into my hair. "Talking can wait, you're exhausted and cold."

"D-don't leave me. I couldn't take it. I couldn't handle losing you, too."

"Bells, I'm not going anywhere. You know that I could never leave you. Come on honey, let's sit down and warm you up, okay?"

I nodded as I drug my feet back toward the couch. Jacob plopped down and then I followed and lay with my head in his lap. Dad pulled a blanket up over me and I closed my eyes as Jake ran his fingers through my hair gently.

"Rest, Bella - You've had a rough night. We can talk in the morning. Jake, you staying tonight?" Dad asked softly.

My eyes had already started drifting closed as I concentrated on the soothing feeling of Jacob's fingers on my scalp.

"Sure Charlie, If you don't mind, I mean," Jacob whispered.

"No problem, kid. You can take the couch, okay?"

I didn't hear an answer from Jacob; I just felt the warmth and comfort of my best friend and the promise of sleep claiming me soon. The wood in the fireplace crackled and I could hear Billy and dad in the kitchen whispering about something.

"Sleep, Bella," Jacob whispered and kissed my forehead.

"G'Night, Jake," I answered softly as I felt my body relax and the chill dissipated. My mind was a clutter of 'what ifs' and anger. I didn't know what I was going to do, but I just wanted to move on from this and live a happy and full life. Just like _he'd_ told me to…

"Night, Bells."

My body sunk into the couch more as the world began to melt away and my eyes and mind grew heavy with exhaustion. Jacob scooted next to me on the couch and wrapped his arms around me. That was the last thing I felt as my world was claimed by darkness.


	2. Chapter 2 Arise

**I'm back… I hope you're all enjoying the new updates on all the stories! I'm so excited – I can't even tell you just how much. Anyway, Rated M for a reason – and you know what that means.**

**I'm not Stephenie Meyer; I never claimed to own Twilight or any of the characters except the ones that I make up in my stories – but this storyline here, that's mine! The song titles aren't mine either – they belong to the artists…**

*It Will Rain*

Chapter Two – Arise

"Bella," a voice whispered closely to my ear. "Bella, wake up honey."

"Mmm," I mumbled sleepily and tucked my head into something hard and unyielding.

It wasn't the hard, unyielding chest I was used to waking up next to. The hard, _cold_ chest that I'd grown accustomed to sleeping against wasn't here anymore and would never return. I was sleeping against something warm and welcoming with the scent of something I couldn't place. The scent was so inviting and everything I imagined masculinity would smell like.

I inhaled deeply and tried to remember where I was – I obviously wasn't in my bed. My body was tightly wound around whoever it was I was lying next to, yet I couldn't find it in myself to care and I didn't move. It was so warm and comfortable where I was and I didn't want to wake up from this dream and face reality.

"Bells," the voice whispered again, the ghost of warm breath tickling against the sensitive skin of my neck and face. "Oh, Bella…"

The voice sounded so sad, and I hated hearing the brokenness that it exuded. My eyes fluttered slightly as I felt a hand caress my cheek softly. My body tingled slightly at the touch and it made me aware of the sudden feeling of want and desire flowing through me. I ignored that feeling and ever so slowly I cracked my eyes open and took in my surroundings, or lack-there-of.

I couldn't see anything but a black t-shirt stretched over a broad chest and long black hair flowing down around me. I peeked up from under my lashes and glanced at the face that was staring expectantly down at me.

"Jacob," I whispered softly as I lifted my hand and ran my fingertips across his bronzed cheek. "What – where am I?"

"You don't remember what happened, Bella?" Jacob asked as his eyebrows knitted together slightly, a slight pucker forming between them.

"I-I," I stuttered before I thought carefully. I remembered my ill-fated birthday party, coming home – going to school, but the Cullen's hadn't been there even though it was raining that day. I remember – 'You're no good for me, Bella – I don't want you to come…' I remembered being left alone in the woods, the coldness of the rain seeping into my body as I sat – the sounds of an animal stalking me in the woods. Yellow eyes following me, and I remember the anger and the pain… I remembered everything quite clearly – and I could feel the angry tears as they began to fill my eyes as I thought about all that had happened.

I remembered...

"Do you remember what happened?" Jacob repeated softly as he ran his hand through my hair, his eyes finding mine once more.

"Y-yes," I answered brokenly with a nod and I tucked my face into Jacob's chest tighter. "They're gone."

The answer was simple – straight to the point. It didn't matter that he'd hurt me with his words, that he'd left me in the woods alone and unable to defend myself… he'd taken his family from me and didn't even let me say good bye.

"What happened, Bella?" Jacob asked as he gently put his fingers under my chin and brought my face up to look at him.

He was beautiful – and big. What the hell were they feeding him anyway?

Had I never noticed how handsome he was before? His skin was like smooth caramel – his cheeks slightly ruddy from the blood that was gathered there as he blushed slightly, whether from embarrassment or some other feeling, I wasn't sure. His eyes were dark and searching as if he was looking for the answer to some important question that was hidden inside of me – and I found myself wanting to tell him everything.

"E-Edward broke up with me," I answered softly as I searched his face again. Had I really never noticed how truly, utterly, breathtakingly beautiful Jacob Black was? I shook my head slightly to clear my thoughts as I continued on. "He took me into the woods to talk – and he told me I wasn't good for him, that he didn't want to be with me anymore. His family left…"

"I'm so sorry, Bella," Jacob whispered as he continued to search my eyes. Was he trying to read my soul – to see if I was broken and un-repairable from this? "He should have never left you alone out there – you could have been hurt, I mean… physically."

I took stock of myself, the ache in my chest was still there to tell me that this was real – but it wasn't unmanageable. My head hurt and I felt tired and the flare of anger was still there, festering and seething like an open wound.

Yeah, I was going to be all right – _in time_.

"It's okay, I'm going to be fine," I finally whispered back, my hands balling up around Jacob's t-shirt. "Just don't leave me, Jake."

"I couldn't ever leave you, Bella," he said softly. The truth to those words flooded into me like waves crashing and cresting on a sandy beach – he was being completely honest. But he'd left the end of his sentence open – and I knew why… _'I couldn't ever leave you, Bella – because I love you…'_

I had known that Jake had feelings for me – that he'd wanted more than friendship from me, but I was completely blinded by my love for Edward that I hadn't seen Jacob. I had never truly _seen_ Jacob – and it was a shame, because he was heartbreakingly gorgeous – inside and out.

Any girl would be lucky to have him… and he wanted me - but I'd never even given him a chance.

Why? Was it because he was younger than me? That excuse was fucking ridiculous – because technically I was 91 years younger than Edward. How could I even use age as an excuse? It wasn't even valid – but I was stupid and blind. I was completely selfish and too caught up in Edward Cullen and myself to see what had been right in front of me…

"I'm so sorry, Jacob," I whispered brokenly, my bottom lip trembling as I stared into his eyes.

He promised that he wasn't going to leave me – but I didn't deserve his love for me. I'd shunned him and pushed him away when I didn't want something from him. What kind of friend does that? I'd flirted with him to get what I wanted – then acted as if he'd been nothing. I'd barely treated him like a friend – and yet here he was, holding me and consoling me like he'd done many times since we were kids.

Maybe he was going to leave me now… after he found out the truth of how_ shitty _a friend I truly was.

"Sorry for what, Bells?" he asked as he once again ran his fingers through my hair.

My eyelids fluttered slightly at the contact and I stifled the moan that threatened to escape. The warmth and desire spread through my body once more as Jacob continued to touch me. I inhaled deeply – taking his scent into my lungs once more and held it there as if my life depended on it.

_He smelled so damn good…_

I shook my head to clear my dirty thoughts about my best friend. I couldn't do this – not yet. Jake deserved someone that treated him better, someone that could love him the way he deserved to be loved. If he could give me the time I needed – I could become that person, but I wasn't sure if he would wait for me.

My eyes opened once more and I grabbed his hand in mine and kissed his knuckles softly. I wanted him to touch me, but he had to know the truth – and he had to know that I wasn't quite ready to get into a physical relationship with anyone.

"Jacob," I started, his eyes finding mine once more and his cheeks were flaming red now. I'd probably embarrassed him by kissing his hand. I cleared my throat and held Jake's hand tightly in mine. "Jake, you're so amazing and we've been friends for a long time. But I haven't been very good to you, and I'm sorry for that."

"It's – Bella, you're my best friend," Jacob shook his head as if to deny what I was telling him, but I wasn't having that. He knew, deep down, that it was true. "You haven't done anything – I mean…"

"Jake, come on," I sighed heavily; I could feel the weight of what I was going to say to him sit like stone in my stomach. This wasn't easy for me – but it had to be said. "I'm a horrible friend to you and you know it – I've used you." I admitted.

He pulled back from me slightly and I flinched – this was painful for him to hear and it was painful for me to say… but I had to be honest. I hated that I had to hurt him any more than I already had. Truthfully – it felt like a part of me wanted to die as I watched the slight pain take over his features.

"B-Bella," he stuttered as he searched my face – his eyes finding mine as he searched for his answers. He wanted to know everything.

And I wouldn't hold back from giving him what he wanted… not anymore.

"I used you to get what I wanted and I never once thought about how much that would hurt you, Jacob," I could feel the tears building up behind my eyes now for a different reason than before. This was no longer about me being left by Edward and the Cullens; this was about me making things right with my best friend. A tear slipped from my eye as I looked at Jacob – the pain in his eyes was going to kill me. "I'm selfish, Jacob – and I'm so sorry."

"Bella," he whispered brokenly, "What are you saying?"

I couldn't straight out tell him that what he knew of the Cullen's was true – because to him, they were just stories. So how was I going to say what I wanted to tell him?

"Bella, please," he said softly as he looked straight into my eyes again – his dark eyes covered with a sheen of tears. Tears were in his eyes because of me – because I was so fucking selfish and I hurt my best friend.

"I'm so sorry, Jake," I said honestly, my hand still tightly wrapped around his. "I never thought about how much you – cared for me, when I went and used you for information to get to the Cullen's. I knew you liked me and I used that to get what I wanted – and I need to know if you can ever forgive me."

He looked at me – his eyes carefully searching mine and I waited with bated breath and tears rolling hot trails down my cheeks. My face turned red as I held my breath – just waiting to hear if Jacob could ever find it within himself to forgive me for all I'd done to him. My heart stuttered slightly and I got lightheaded, but I didn't care – I wouldn't be able to breathe without Jacob anyway.

"Bells," he said softly as he raised the hand that wasn't clasped in mine to my face and wiped away the rivulets that were coming from my eyes, "I'll never leave you – and you know that. I'm well aware that you don't feel for me the way I feel for you, but I can deal with that because – I'd rather have you in some way than not at all. I know you're not ready for a relationship now, but when you are – I'll always be right here, waiting."

I released my breath and couldn't help the burst of tears that rolled down my cheeks. Jacob was the most understanding, beautiful person I'd ever had the pleasure of knowing – and he wanted me. I would find a way to get past the Cullens leaving me, because that was what Jake deserved. He wanted all of me – and I'd be damned if I didn't give him that.

He was right, I wasn't ready for a relationship yet – but I would let him in and see where this could lead, because Edward didn't want me. Edward didn't want me – and I didn't want to want him anymore either. Sure, I loved him still – but I wasn't going to cry and beg and plead for someone that straight out said that they didn't want me. And I would let Jacob in and move on – because he deserved that much from me.

He deserved all that and more…

"Thank you, Jacob," I said with a small smile and leaned forward and kissed his cheek lightly.

"I love you, Bella," he whispered and pulled his hand away from mine and ran his fingertips down my cheeks. "I always have."

"Thank you, Jacob. I can't say those words yet – but I want to get there," I told him as I ran my fingers through his hair. "I want to feel better first – and find myself. But I do want to try."

Jacob nodded his understanding with a small smile pulled across his lips. "I'm not going anywhere, Bells," he said quietly as he glanced at my lips. "And I'll try really hard not to rush you into anything."

I smiled back at him and continued to run my fingers through his hair – the feeling of the soft strands against my skin was amazing.

"You know," I whispered and glanced up into his eyes once more, "You're so beautiful. I don't know why I've never noticed it before – but it's the truth. You're beautiful."

He chuckled softly and I could feel the vibration of his laughter run through the parts of my body that were touching him. I couldn't stop the feelings that once more flooded my body at his close proximity. I wanted him, and I didn't know how long I could hide those feelings from him.

His hand found purchase on my cheek and he looked into my eyes, his face inching closer to mine slightly and my breath hitched.

"Mmm, beautiful indeed," he whispered as he inched closer still – his hot breath fanning across my lips and the taste of him invading my mouth.

I couldn't do anything – I was frozen stiff as I watched his face came toward mine. My eyes fluttered closed without my permission as his breath fanned across my face once more – even closer than before. Before anything could happen Jacob pulled back away from me – I could feel the couch shift as his weight settled back and I opened my eyes questioningly.

"I told you I wouldn't make you do anything, and I want our first kiss to be when you're ready," he stated matter-of-factly with a grin pulled across his lips. "I want you to make sure that this is what you want before we get into the more – _serious_ – stuff."

I nodded in agreement, but couldn't help but feel slightly sad that I didn't get to feel his lips against mine.

"Soon, Bells, you'll be mine," Jake said quietly – almost too quiet, and I assumed it wasn't meant for me to hear.

I smiled brightly anyway and rolled over to get up and start some breakfast.

Soon I would be his… _Yes_ – soon indeed.


	3. Chapter 3 A Side To You I Never Knew

**Thank you everyone, for sticking with me through all of this… this is for you! Rated M for a reason – and you know what that means.**

**I will be trying to update at least once a week – but as of right now I cannot make a promise as to how much I will be able to update. I have been busy trying to write my own book and working on opening up my salon so time is not easy to come by at the moment.**

**There are now banners for my stories, links are posted on my profile - just remove the spaces to view them. Thanks to the amazing don'tcallmeleelee aka Stella for making them! So excited to have them.**

**Same spiel, I don't own it – I never claimed I did… Twilight and the recognizable characters are the property of Stephenie Meyer. Any song titles used belong to their rightful owners… this storyline however, that's mine!**

*It Will Rain*

Chapter Three – A Side To You I Never Knew

It had been two weeks since the almost kiss with Jacob and I couldn't stop thinking about everything that had happened.

Two _long_ weeks.

My mind was completely overrun with thoughts of him and less and less time was spent thinking about Edward and his abrupt and _cold_ departure. I'd come to the conclusion that Jacob was everything Edward wasn't - warm, inviting and willing to give me the time and space I needed to figure things out. Not that I didn't miss or love Edward, I did - but what he'd done to me, left me as if I'd never mattered - well that had been the straw to break the camels' back. Not only had he controlled every aspect of our relationship - but he also controlled how it had ended.

I was nothing but a fragile doll to him, and I'd not even gotten the _choice_ to end things with him. Every choice in our relationship had been taken away from me - and I didn't like it. I wasn't weak and I wasn't as easily breakable as Edward thought I was - but damn it all, I did miss him.

Some nights I did have a good cry over the way he'd ended things with me - I did still love him even after everything I'd come to realize. But I also began to realize I was more upset that Emmett and Alice didn't even bother to keep in touch or call – or the fact that Carlisle and Esme had also left without a word – not even so much as a note snuck into my clothing or truck or something. They were vampires – they could have been stealthy and done something to let me know that I'd meant something to them. Anything at all…

Jasper I could sort of understand. He was ashamed of himself (even though I honestly couldn't blame him for what had happened) and he was battling with himself and the demons of his past. I understood that – though I harbored no ill will toward him at all, it was in his nature after all to want my blood. But I couldn't help but be hurt by the lack of contact. No e-mails, no letters, no calls…

_Nothing…_

Edward had told me that it would be as if he'd never existed, and apparently that meant his entire family as well. There was nothing left of them, not even a small clue that they'd even been in our small town except the gossip that surrounded the Cullens abrupt departure and the coy whispers behind my back. My memories were still vivid and I knew that they'd once been a part of my everyday life – but it all felt almost like a dream.

If I didn't bear the bite of James on my wrist – I would have sworn none of it had ever happened.

Nothing but my memories of them remained, not even the ache in my chest was bad enough to tell me that the whole family had torn themselves away from me. They made sure that there was nothing left, no clues to where they'd gone and no signs that they'd ever inhabited their mansion in Forks.

Their home was completely empty of life, looking almost as if it had never even been lived in at all. All of their furnishings were completely covered with pristine white sheets and the entire place looked as if it had been thoroughly cleaned and scrubbed before they'd left – though I couldn't understand why they'd felt the need to clean, there was nothing ever dirty or out of place in their home any time I'd been there.

Jacob had told me it wasn't good for me to go to their house – it would just make me upset to know that they really were gone and not coming back. But I needed the closure, to reassure myself that it was okay for me to begin healing and move on from Edward – though I couldn't help the feelings I was having as of late. The feelings that were overtaking every part of me - of falling farther and farther away from Edward and gravitating toward Jacob.

Jacob - He was like my own personal sun – happy and bright where my world was dark and empty. There were times that I still felt a bit hollow and cut from the inside – and that's when Jacob would pull me to him and hold me as if _his_ life depended on it. He was happiness and kindness and just – Jake. Everything about him drew me in – and I welcomed it. I didn't have time to dwell on the sadness of missing the Cullens, because Jacob had taken it upon himself to make sure that I wasn't left alone. If Charlie had plans then so did Jacob and I. He took me to the reservation and we sat in his garage while he fixed up his car or went to First Beach and walked and talked to pass the time - though his time was occupied with more than just me. Embry and Quil weren't around as much but Jacob still took time to hang out with his guy friends when I wasn't around. I wasn't privy to their guy time or information about what they did – but I was just happy to have Jacob when I could.

Some of our times were also spent together with our dads - nights with Jacob, Billy and Charlie watching whatever game was on and we'd order pizza or I'd cook. It was nice to spend time with our dads and feel the easiness of just living. Laughing about something silly that Charlie and Billy would do or say - and the coy way that both of them would hint that Jake and I would make a 'cute couple'. Jake and I would take it all in stride - but it was getting harder and harder to fight my own feelings. I knew it was just a matter of time before I gave in and told Jake the truth - he was healing me, and I wanted to give him a chance. With Jacob it was all just easy – just like breathing. I didn't have to think about it – it was natural, instinctual and I didn't have the power left to fight what was going to happen in the end.

I didn't _want_ to fight it...

I didn't have to change who I was with him – because he loved and cared for me just as I was. No frills or fancy clothes or proper 'lady' language – I could just be Bella, and that was okay with him. And for the first time in a very long time - it was okay with me, too.

School, however, was another thing all together:

The people I had shut myself off from as I got lost in my mourning for the loss of the Cullens had begun to move on. It wasn't like I was some sort of Zombie or something - just a bit sad sometimes, but never the less, they'd all begun to pull away from me. I couldn't find it anywhere inside me to care that Jessica Stanley had finally decided that she wasn't my friend. She and Lauren had taken it upon themselves to shun me from their 'group'. Mike and Eric were still kind enough to acknowledge me – but it didn't seem the same anymore.

We'd all grown apart.

All of us, that is, except me and Angela – she was a true friend who understood that I'd been hurting and missed Edward and his family. She sat with me at lunch and made small talk with me. She also told me about how she noticed how much better I seemed to be getting in the last two weeks (Who is he, Bella?). I was no longer walking through the hallways at school with my head down and my hair shielding me from the outside world.

I was now walking around with my head held high once more – not caring who noticed or didn't – all I cared about was when I could get home and talk to Jacob once more.

"Bella," Angela's soft giggle of my name pulled me from my thoughts.

I felt the tell-tale blush that spread across my cheeks as I looked up at her. "I'm sorry, Ang," I said softly as I pushed some of my hair behind my ear. "What were you saying?"

"Come on, Bella," Angela said quietly as she looked around the crowded lunch room. "Who is he?"

"He who, Ang," I asked with a smile. "I really don't know why this comes up all the time lately." I could play like I had no idea what she was talking about – but I was pretty sure she could see right through my lie. Angela was a smart girl – and she knew that something was up.

"You don't have to tell me, but I know there's someone," Angela smiled brightly at me and bouncing slightly in her seat – reminding me slightly of a certain pixie of a girl who I'd once considered my best friend.

I shook my head to clear my thoughts and looked straight at Angela. "Ang, really – it's nothing," I sighed heavily and put my head down on the lunch table. I was suddenly overcome with sadness as I remembered Alice's overwhelming giddiness and Emmett's warm disposition. I missed them. Truly and honestly – I missed them.

"I'm sorry, Bella," Ang said quietly as she put her hand on my shoulder. "I didn't mean to upset you."

I lifted my head slightly and shook it, cursing to myself as I felt the tears cloud over my eyes. I had to snap out of this funk or surely I would push away the last friend I had at Forks High. "No, Angela – It's not you," I admitted softly as I swiped angrily at my eyes. "I miss them."

"But Bella," she sighed and shifted her chair closer to mine. "Edward…"

I cut her off before she could finish whatever she was going to say. "Not Edward," I assured her. "I miss Alice and Emmett and Jasper. Shit, I even miss Rosalie."

Angela's eyes widened slightly and she covered her mouth with the back of her hand as she stifled her giggles. After she calmed down and her giggles quieted – she tilted her head slightly, looking at me as if she was looking for something that intrigued her.

"You know, Bella," she said softly, her eyes flickering over my face and finally stopping back onto my eyes. "I know that Edward was special and the Cullens meant a lot to you – but the way they just left and didn't so much as turn back to make sure you'd be okay, I say you're better off. I'm not trying to be mean or anything, I'm just saying – as your friend."

I nodded slightly and let the corners of my lips pull into a half-hearted grin. She was right, of course – I was slowly realizing that I was happy to be alive. I didn't want to die – and if I was to remain with the Cullens, everything about me would have had to change. I would have to die to stay with them for eternity, and I was now realizing that that wasn't what I wanted. I wanted to hang around Jacob and Angela and not have to worry about if I was going to eat them - I wanted to have my friends and maybe someday - a family.

I wanted life…

"I will just have to learn to live without them and be happy that I have friends who do love me no matter what I do," I smiled at her again and took her hand in mine, "friends that will love me for me."

"Things will get better, Bella," she said softly as she rubbed her thumb over the back of my hand in a friendly gesture. "I just know it. And you do have friends who love you for who you are."

"Things are getting better, Ang," I told her quietly – not sure if she'd even heard me until her eyes snapped up to mine. "They're getting better, Angela – slowly but surely, _I'm_ getting better."

"And you still won't tell me who this miracle healer is, huh?" she joked.

"Maybe I'll introduce you _again_ sometime," I smiled at her.

Before she could say anything else the bell rang. I stood up and picked up my trash from the table and headed toward the door.

The rest of the day flew by as I thought about getting to see Jacob after school – my lips curved up into a full-fledged smile now as all thoughts of the Cullens once again disappeared and I thought of my best friend. Nothing could drag me down when Jacob was around - even if he was just in my thoughts.

Before I knew it, the final bell had rung and I was walking out of the school toward the student parking lot – my eyes searching the crowds of students for Angela. She waved her hands at me from across the lot standing next to my truck. She smiled brightly but my eyes were drawn to the other person standing there next to her, his arms folded across his chest and his eyes brightening slightly as I walked toward them.

Everyone else seemed to stop what they were doing as I reached my truck and was enveloped into a tight hug – my feet leaving the ground as my heart began to pick up pace due to the close proximity of… _him_. His smell invaded my senses and I allowed my eyes to close as I took him in – my arms wrapped tightly around his neck as I returned his hug with fervor.

"I couldn't wait to see you," he whispered against my ear, causing a shiver to run down my spine.

"I missed you, Jacob," I whispered back and planted a kiss against his cheek – my lips lingering a bit longer than was necessary. I didn't care what anyone else around me was saying – this was where I was happy – wrapped in the arms of my best friend who was slowly taking over and eclipsing the emptiness in my heart…

"I always miss you, Bells," he chuckled deeply in his throat as he let me down. I turned away from him slightly and met Angela's bright, smiling face as she looked between Jacob and me and his arm that was draped casually around my shoulders. "Hi there," Jacob addressed Angela – his bright smile pulled across his lips as he extended his other hand toward her. "I'm Jacob Black."

"I remember you, we met at the beach once - you've grown quite a bit since then," Angela smiled back – her eyes finding mine and one eyebrow quirked slightly as she took his hand in hers. "I'm Angela Weber, it's nice to meet you again, Jacob. So you must be the guy that has Bella so happy these days, huh?"

I could feel the blush as it once again spread up my face and my eyes cast downward toward my shoes as Angela and Jacob both laughed.

"I hope so," Jacob finally said as he pulled me closer to him – the heat of his body seeping into me and warming me from the inside out. "If I make her as happy as she makes me then I'm doing something right."

I couldn't say anything as I looked back up at Jake, his dark eyes staring into mine and his lips looking so inviting – I couldn't help but want to kiss him.

"Hmm, I think I'll leave you two alone," Angela laughed once more and started walking toward her own car in the lot. Looking back over her shoulder she hollered, "See you later, Bella – nice to see you again Jacob."

"It was a pleasure, Angela," Jacob answered her without taking his eyes from me. The tone of his voice sent shivers down my spine again and I felt myself leaning closer to him.

I wanted him – every nerve ending in my body was alive and reaching out toward Jacob as if he was what was grounding me to this spot – to this very moment. I wanted to feel him – his lips on mine and his tongue moving against mine in a way I'd never been kissed before. I wanted it all – and I wasn't scared to admit it to myself.

I wanted Jacob Black.

"Jacob," I whispered softly as one of his hands found my cheek. I let me eyes close as he leaned down toward me and my breath hitched slightly as I felt his breath fan across my lips.

This was what I wanted and nothing could stop me from getting it.

"Bella," a voice hollered as I heard footsteps pounding toward us. "You didn't tell me that you were dating someone else."

I wanted to roll my eyes at Jessica – hadn't we just established in the past few weeks that we weren't friends? Of course she would want to know all about me and Jake. She needed something knew to gossip about. Yeah, nothing could stop me from getting what I wanted – except her nosey ass. I didn't acknowledge her as I grabbed Jacob's hand and opened the door to my truck. He was stopped by Jessica's hand on his arm as she introduced herself to him.

I slid across the seat – still close enough that while Jacob drove I would be able to lean against him and my eyes met Jessica's through the window. She was smirking slightly at Jacob and pushing her chest out as she spoke to him. I tried to ignore her – I really did. But I couldn't help but wonder if Jacob would be interested in a girl like her…

"It's so nice to meet you, Jacob," Jessica giggled annoyingly and gripped his hand in hers. "Oh wow, you're so strong – do you work out?"

_Really?_ She was so fucking dense. I didn't care that my eyes rolled at her comment and I also didn't care that I was glaring at her through the window – I just wanted to get out of here because I was about a minute from hopping back out of this truck and punching her fucking face.

"Umm, sure," Jacob shrugged his shoulders and then turned to look at me with his eyebrows raised in disbelief. I couldn't help but laugh. Jessica's eyes met mine once more and I shrugged back at her. "Nice meeting you - gotta go." And with that Jacob turned his back to Jessica and hopped into the drivers' seat and fired up my truck. Without looking back he put it into gear and drove out of the parking lot.

"You've got a fan club," I whispered agitatedly, not bothering to try and cover the fact that I was jealous. "She is pretty – dumb as a fucking rock, but pretty."

"I'm not interested in her, Bells," Jacob answered as he let one of his hands fall from the wheel to clasp my hand that had been picking at the frayed edge of a hole in the knee of my jeans. "I don't care about any other girls; you know you're the only one I want."

Well shit, what could I say to that? Thank you didn't seem appropriate. I was at a loss…

"But you know I'm not going to push you, I promised."

I did know that – and I appreciated him not pushing me. "I know, Jacob," I said quietly, enjoying the feel of his thumb rubbing the back of my hand. "But – what if I told you that I think I'm ready to try?"

His eyebrows quirked again as he looked at me, a small smile pulling at the corner of his delicious looking lips.

Oh yeah, I was so ready… and with that thought, I leaned over and whispered against his ear, "Pull over Jacob."

And I watched as he flicked the blinker on and he swallowed thickly as he pulled the truck over to the side of the road…


	4. Chapter 4 Lies And Crooked Wings

**Hello my lovelies – I'm ba-ack! This is going to be a long A/N so please, bear with me… First off: Thank you all so much for reviewing the last chapter, I'm sincerely flattered you all like this story. Seriously, the amount of adds of Fave Author and Fave story are ridonculous! I friggen' love you all! *Ahem* Rating still stands at M guys and gals, you know what that means… Slight citrus possible ahead and fluff – probably not a full lemon, but maybe a bit of a tart treat. There will be some twists and turns ahead. I wanted to give you all the chance to talk to me in RL – add me on Twitter and ask me questions or just shoot the breeze: angelicmethod**

**Also, my stories will now be posted on Jacob Black 'N Pack due to issues on – many stories are being pulled without the authors knowledge and I do not want this to happen – so I'm covering my bases…**

**I have banners for my stories now – holy crap! Thank you to the wonderful and talented don'tcallmeleelee aka Stella for making them for me! They're gorgeous and I *heart* them so much – thank you bb! If you would like to view them I have posted the links on my profile – view away.**

**Disclaimer: You know the drill here – I don't own it, I'm not Stephenie Meyer and I never claimed Twilight was mine. All song titles (and lyrics) used belong to their rightful owners and so on and so forth. The only thing I do claim is this storyline right here, that's what came from my own mind - as messed up as it is…**

*It Will Rain*

Chapter Four – Lies And Crooked Wings

I watched as Jacob stopped the truck and put it into park – his eyes growing wide as he turned toward me. He looked nervous, and I had to be honest with myself – though I wanted this, I was scared too. Everything I'd shared with Edward was chaste and protected and slow – but what I was feeling right now (and what I wanted from Jacob) was far from anything I'd ever tried before. Was I really ready to take this relationship with Jake to the next level? Was I ready to move on for good and start something that I knew there was no coming back from?

I contemplated that for a moment as I stared at Jacob; he truly was so beautiful, how I'd not seen it before was beyond me. I'd been blinded by Edward – I knew that now. I'd been blinded from what I truly needed – what I wanted more than I'd ever thought possible. I wanted Jacob more than I'd ever wanted anything before… _anything_.

I scooted closer to him – as close as the seat would allow and I could feel the heat of his body seeping into mine. It felt like warm fingers caressing my body from all angles and I reveled in it. His scent overtook my thoughts as I inhaled deeply – he was heat and soap and the woods after a spring rain and the scent of him caused something in my mind to click. I didn't know what it was – but this all felt so familiar. I couldn't put my finger on it, but his scent brought thoughts of warm skin against mine and the feel of his body moving above mine as he brought me pleasure I'd never known before. It also brought forward thoughts of whispered words of love and the sound of laughter and tears as… something happened. Something I knew I should remember but I couldn't quite pull it forward.

I shook my head and inhaled deeply once more. What was going on here?

"Bella," he sighed breathily; his scent washing over me once more. Jacob was absolutely intoxicating – and I didn't have it in me to fight the pull to him anymore. I wasn't even going to try.

I looked at him – really looked at him, and thought about if I was ready. Was I ready to move on from Edward and the Cullens and forge a new relationship with Jacob? As I studied him I knew my answer was clear: Yes, I was ready and I was willing to move forward and never look back again. This was what I wanted – I was _positive_ of that. I could see a life with Jacob – a life full of love and happiness and babies. I could feel a smile pull across my lips as I thought about all that I could have with this boy-turned-man who'd been my friend for as long as I could remember. My heart was settled and content and full, and with that, I knew this was right.

My eyes opened slowly (I hadn't even realized they were closed) and the light grew brighter around me as a wide smile spread over my lips – _this _was right. For the first time in a very long time – I actually knew where I belonged and what I wanted. It was like I could feel it somewhere inside of me. All that I'd endured – everything I thought I was giving up because I couldn't have Edward – that was all washed away as the happiness I felt inside of my heart as I looked at Jacob burst through every pore of my body. Everything that I had thought before this moment – every movement I'd made before now had led me here and I knew that this is where I was supposed to be. I was supposed to be in this place at this very moment – with Jacob.

I leaned even closer to him, my arms going around his neck as my eyes searched his. Could he see how much I wanted him? – How much I wanted this? – I truly wanted him, every part he'd allow me to have.

"Jacob," I whispered – his name coming off my lips like a prayer. "Kiss me."

It was mere moments that he hesitated, his eyes focusing on mine as he searched my face (and maybe my soul), but it felt like forever before he leaned his head down toward me, his body shifting in the seat so he was facing me and his breath fanned across my lips. I didn't allow my eyes to close – I wanted to see him. His eyes remained locked with mine (his dark, almost black – meeting my chocolate brown) as he inched closer – our lips barely touching as he chastely moved his mouth against mine.

"_No," _I thought, _"please, don't treat me like a doll… Not you too…"_

I wanted more: I'd had chaste and safe. I'd been pushed away when things got too close to moving past kisses – I'd had protected and 'I can't Bella, I don't want to hurt you'. I didn't want any of that – I wanted hot and heavy and wet and a bit of danger and the unknown. I wanted tongue and feeling and moans of pleasure as we fought to dominate each other – I wanted it all. I wanted Jacob…

It was natural, easy – he was _mine_. I didn't know where this possessive side of me was coming from, but I felt it inside of me that Jacob was mine – and I wasn't letting go…

"Kiss me, Jacob," I said more firmly as he pulled away, my arms locking around his neck tightly as I ran my fingers through his hair at the nape of his neck. The feel of his lips (even as chaste as the kiss had been) was nothing short of magical and I wouldn't let him go until I felt him in every way I knew we both wanted. I could see it in his eyes that he wanted this as much as I wanted him. "I want you to really _kiss_ me – feel me and take me in a way that no one else has. Can't you see – _feel_ – how much I want you? Can't you?"

He searched my eyes once more – his brows puckering slightly as he looked at me. His expression shifted suddenly and I could see every ounce of love her had for me in his eyes – this was real, this was everything I suddenly realized I wanted. This was my natural path – where I'd always been meant to end up. Now I just had to assure Jacob of my feelings for him. I needed him to know that he was who I wanted.

"Please, Jacob," I whispered. I wasn't above begging for him to give me what I wanted – I would make sure I never again made Jacob question my feelings for him – if I could get the words out of my mouth. Instead all I could say was, "Please… please."

His eyes searched mine once more before he leaned in again, his forehead touching against mine gently and our mouths just inches apart. This was all I'd ever dreamed of as his breath once again fanned across my lips before he closed the small distance between us and he kissed my mouth. His lips were like soft pillows, full and oh-so right against mine. His mouth tasted of mint with a slight hint of something I couldn't place but something that was just so – Jacob. This was everything I'd been missing and hadn't even realized it, and I didn't ever want to forget or give this up. His mouth was heaven – and I wanted to stay there as long as time would allow.

I followed Jacob's movements – my lips parting as his did and I turned my head slightly as I tried to figure out how best to fit against him. Our tongues met in the middle, hot and wet and _so_ good – moving and twining together before pulling back and starting over again. It was a synchronized dance of want and pleasure – and I was going to give as much as Jacob would take.

I'd never felt anything like this before – my body heating to the point I thought I was going to pass out, the feeling of a hot mouth against mine in a heated embrace and the feel of overly-warm fingers as they skimmed across my cheeks and then rested in my hair, pulling my mouth just that much closer to his. This was bliss at its finest – and it felt so damn good and oh-so right.

I exhaled loudly through my nose, a moan laced together with a contented sigh, as I pulled Jacob's face against mine harder – his hair still threaded between my fingers as I felt his hands move down my sides and rest on my hips. I was completely aware of the heat of his fingertips as they caressed the skin of my hipbones just beneath the waistband of my jeans and I found myself wanting more. The burn that had begun in my belly was spreading and had settled just inches below Jacob's long, warm fingers – my center throbbed and I could feel the sudden dampness in my panties followed by a deep and throaty moan from Jacob as he inhaled.

I didn't have time to think about his reaction as my lips opened once more as Jacob slid his tongue across my bottom lip and we met again, all lips and tongues and teeth and I let out another breathy moan of my own as my eyes closed tightly.

There was nothing left – no lingering doubts and no ache in my chest from missing the Cullens – there was simply Jacob and Bella, and this was bliss and contentment and happiness. This was completeness – everything was right in my world thanks to Jacob, and I'd never let him go now. I could be strong and determined – and maybe a bit hard-headed if I had to be, but this was the universe put right. What I'd thought was love didn't even come close to what I was feeling at this very moment. This was all-consuming and there was no room left inside me for anyone else, not even Edward and what I'd thought was my only love. How wrong and stupidly naïve I'd been.

My mind focused back on the here and now as I listened to Jacob's grunt of pleasure as I nipped his bottom lip slightly with my teeth and then soothed it with my tongue. The feel and taste and smell of Jacob was unlike anything I could have ever imagined – his scent once again invading my senses as he pulled his lips away from mine. We both panted heavily and my hands moved through his hair as I tried to catch my breath.

"Fuck," he whispered as his eyes searched mine. "Bella, I miss you."

I was slightly puzzled by what he was saying – how could he miss me? He'd seen me every day since Edward had left. It had only been weeks and I hadn't gone anywhere – I'd fought my despair and had come out stronger and I was with him.

My eyes grew heavy and I let them close – the world fading away except Jacob. My face was hot and the blush spread across my chest and God knows how far down – but I didn't care. This was it, the moment I'd waited for. Every feeling I'd ever had for Edward paled in comparison to this very moment. Jacob and I looked at each other for what seemed like forever – and it was right and beautiful and just… _natural_. It just was – and I was never going to let go of it. Jacob was mine… and I was now his. I didn't even want to think about Edward anymore – before Jacob, I'd simply existed. I'd gone through the motions but none of it had mattered – I hadn't truly been _alive_ until this moment.

"Jacob," his name once again falling from my lips in a soft murmur, "I want you like this – I want you to be mine."

"I've always been yours, Bella," he smiled at me – his eyes glancing down at my lips as he licked his own. His tongue looked _too_ good running across his full lips not to take advantage of so I leaned forward again and caught his lips against mine.

I moaned loudly as his tongue moved against mine and his hands pulled my hips slightly. I got the gist and moved up onto my knees, careful not to break our kiss as I threw my right leg over his lap and settled over him. His groan as I sat down over his lap caught my attention and as he kissed my mouth I moved my hips experimentally, shifting my hips back and forth.

That's when I felt it – the distinct feeling of something big and hard poking up into my thigh.

Good God_ – that's _what I did to him?

"Jake, I want you," I whispered breathily as I pulled back. His lips trailed down my neck as his hands continued to grip my hips as I shifted above him – his fingertips digging slightly into my skin in a delicious contrast of pain and pleasure. "Please, Oh, God."

The air in the truck was heavy and thick with lust and my eyes were drifting closed again as Jacob continued his assault on my neck. He knew exactly where to kiss me to make me hotter – and I knew I wanted it all… maybe not in the seat of my truck on the side of the road where my Police Chief father could drive by at any time – but I wanted Jacob like I'd never wanted anyone before in my life.

How could this be? – Not that I was complaining, but how could I go from being in love with Edward to –_falling_ – for Jacob? And not just falling – more like plummeting and there was nothing I could do to stop it from happening. Like my world suddenly… revolved around Jacob and his happiness…

My thoughts were interrupted when I heard Jacob groan again, my hips still shifting in a slightly broken and sloppy rhythm above him. "Mmm, Bells," he moaned, his face tucked against my neck and his tongue tracing hot, wet circles over my pulse. "You feel so good – and you smell even better."

God, his voice covered me like dripping honey and sex, everything about him simply oozed raw passion and masculinity. He was making it hard for me to concentrate on what I wanted to say to him. I wanted to reassure him that this was what I wanted. I wanted him and I was falling for him harder than I had even thought possible and I was his in every way that I could belong to anyone, or would – if he would have me in _every way_.

"Don't ever let me go, Jacob," I whispered; my breath hot and heavy against his ear. "Please, I want you to be with me. I'm ready to try with you if you'll still have me. I want you – and I want you to want me back."

"You know I want you, Bella," he answered as he once again placed open-mouthed kisses against my neck and throat. He gripped my hips and pulled me against him – the tell-tale hardness in his pants rubbing against me in the sweetest torture I'd ever felt in my life. "I know you can feel how much I want you – but I want you for forever, not just for this. There is no one else for me."

"I think I'm falling in love with you," I whispered softly, my voice catching as my fingers stopped their movements through his hair. This was the scary part – how could I be ready to give my heart over to someone else when I'd just had it broken? – But there it was, my heart laid bare for Jacob in whatever way he'd take it.

"I love you, Bella," he answered in throaty whisper as he kissed my jaw softly – his lips trailing hotly against my skin. "I've always loved you and I'll never stop."

My eyes opened again and I pulled back to look in his eyes. He deserved all this and so much more, and I wouldn't deny him again – never again.

"Jacob," I smiled at him, my fingers once again running through the silky strands of his hair as our eyes locked. "I'm yours – I'm yours and you're mine… I know this is fast but I can't stop."

His arms came around my middle a bit tighter and his face settled into the crook of my neck as he inhaled once again before he laughed low in his throat – a sound that I'd never heard from him before but it made a smile pull across my own lips.

"You know I want that – that I want you. But what happened to spur this change of heart?" he asked softly as he ran his hands up and down my back beneath my shirt – the feel of his hot skin against mine once again threatening to pull me into that place where coherent thought escaped me.

"I-I have been feeling – things," I stuttered slightly. A horny Bella was also an incoherent Bella obviously. The things that this man could do to me… "I can't stop what I'm feeling – I'm falling hard, and I don't want to fight it. I know it seems fast, but it's almost like – magic. There's no hole in my chest from the Cullens leaving, not now that I have you. I want you to be with me – I want to be happy and in love, I want to _live_, Jacob." He gasped slightly at that but I couldn't stop my rant long enough to give it any more thought. "And I want to get married and have babies." Apparently a horny Bella doesn't have a filter either. I cringed back slightly as I waited for him to laugh at me or tell me I was crazy or something… but he just sat there. There it was though – it was out there and I couldn't take it back. Jacob had my heart in his hands and it was up to him if he wanted to pursue this relationship further now that he knew how I felt about him and what I wanted.

Maybe it was too fast – a bit out of left field that I was asking him for marriage and kids, but it sort of slipped out – and it was the truth. Maybe Jacob wasn't ready for that; he was only 17 for God's sake – had I taken it too far? We'd gone from being friends to making out and groping each other to me asking Jacob to knock me up and marry me all in the span of what, half an hour?

_Smooth, Bella, really fucking smooth._

"I-I, Oh God," I sighed heavily as I tucked my burning face into his chest, my fists finding purchase in his t-shirt as I grabbed handfuls and held on. "I'm sorry, Jacob – that was too fast."

"No," he whispered and my heart plummeted – he didn't want that with me. He wanted me as his girlfriend, and I had taken things too far, too fast. Being his girlfriend was enough though, right? I mean, I could be happy with that – but why did it hurt so much to think maybe he didn't want those things, too?

"I understand," I said quietly as I inhaled his scent, the familiar scents once again tickling something in the back of my mind – my face still tucked against his chest. "It was too much, and I'm sorry."

"No, Bella," he whispered again, his voice a bit more sure but still quiet. I couldn't take much more of this – the rejection stung and I didn't want to hear any more – if he wanted to take things slowly, I could do that. I would wait until he was ready – whenever that may be. I'd wait forever for him if I had to.

Where the hell was all of this coming from? I felt completely out of control and it was almost like I was desperately trying to make up for time I'd missed with him. Jacob had always been there for me as my friend. It had only been a couple of weeks, but some part of me felt as if I'd missed him for much longer. It all felt wrong – how could I miss him? I felt I'd been away from him even longer than the span of my relationship with Edward. Parts of what was happening with Jacob right now felt so familiar – like a small tickle in the back of my mind. It felt as if I'd been here before…

"Bells – look at me." His voice taking on a more serious tone and I didn't hesitate as I broke out of my thoughts, I pulled back away from him and looked up at him – my eyes growing wide as I took in his bright smile, the tiny dimples in his cheeks completely noticeable and I swooned a bit before I got a hold of myself and looked up into his eyes.

"I want those things with you, too, Bella," he said as he brought one hand up to my cheek and brushed my hair back behind my ear. "It's not too fast – I've been waiting forever for you, and I want all of you. Maybe not today," he laughed as he made circles on the flesh of my hips with his fingers, "but I want to be with you in all those ways. I'd love to see you walking toward me to become my wife – and your stomach round with my babies."

"Y-you mean it?" I didn't mean to sound so unsure, so broken up about the thought of him rejecting me – but this pull to him was undeniable, and I couldn't stop any of the things that were happening inside of me. Something was going on, and I had a feeling that Jacob could feel it, too.

I didn't have time to think about that line of thought though as Jake smiled and my head became fogged over with lust once more. I was starting to feel a bit out of control – but I couldn't find it in myself to care, I needed him; I wanted to feel him… "We've got to get out of here; you need to take me somewhere that we can be alone." I moaned as I ground against him once more, the moisture in my panties becoming embarrassingly noticeable through my jeans.

Somewhere in the back of my mind I registered that all the thoughts I'd had – that I'd been with Jacob in this same situation before – kept nagging at me. Why would I think that? I'd never been with Jake in such a way – I'd never been touched like this before by anyone.

But if that was true, why did I feel like his touch and his kisses were so familiar? His taste was something that I'd missed for a very long time? How would I know the feeling of Jacob moving his body with mine in ways I knew no one had ever touched me? There was something going on inside of me and I had to find out what it was…

"Jake, have I – have we…" I couldn't finish my thought. It sounded absolutely absurd and I didn't want Jacob to think that I was going out of my mind. "I-I need to – there's something wrong…"

"Bella," he whispered softly again, his fingers trailing warm paths down my cheeks as I suddenly realized tears were running the same paths, "Bella, please."

I couldn't say anything, all I knew was I suddenly felt pain everywhere and light was burning behind my eyes as I tried to focus on his face. He was fading away from me and I realized I wasn't in my truck – I wasn't sitting on Jacob's lap on the side of the road in Forks…

As my eyes opened all I saw was crimson red and pale white and I could feel a searing pain as it made its way through my body once again. Tears blinded me as the pain shot through my body and a piercing scream ripped from my lips before my world became dark…


End file.
